50 Reasons to Be Pretty Damn Euphoric You Live in New York City
50. Sending your laundry out for someone else to wash and dry it is not only convenient, it’s just good business. Especially since you will probably never own a washer and dryer. Which means you never have to feel guilty about not doing your own laundry. Next.
49. Drinking coffee four times a day, every day, isn’t the exception, it’s the rule.
48. The secret Chick Fil-A at the NYU dining hall.
47. There is always someone crazier than you. ALWAYS.
46. The view from the Brooklyn Bridge.
45. The view of the Brooklyn Bridge.
44. The epic feeling you get running to catch a train and succeeding…just before the doors close.
43. Bored to Death. 30 Rock. SNL. And a million other things that film here and we love. RIP Law and Order.
42. Manhattan-Brooklyn/Brooklyn-Manhattan wars never cease to entertain. Nor do hipster-Hasid wars. Or hipsters in general.
41. We get the inside jokes. Because, actually, we made them up in the first place.
40. That horrified look on our parents’ friends’ faces when we tell them we live in “Hell’s Kitchen.”
39. Sure, we work out next to Alec Baldwin, Padma Lakshmi, and Bridget Moynahan, and walk the streets with Willem Dafoe, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Tina Fey, but, really, we’re kinda too busy with our own lives to notice.
38. Drinking is like breathing. Or slightly more acceptable.
37. Because it’s not enough to just love New York. New York needs to love you back, too. Hey, we have high standards.
36. Whatever you need, whenever you need it, there is someone who will bring it to you for a price, which may or may not be negotiable. (Or legal.)
35. By the time the rest of the nation has bedbugs, we’ll have figured out how to get rid of them. In the meantime, we’ll mock them by dressing our dogs up as bedbugs for Halloween. Laugh in the face of fear, New Yorker!
34. There are almost 200 bars in the East Village alone.
33. There’s no shortage of stupid rich people to make fun of.
32. The endless delights of the New York Post.
31. You don’t even need a passport, or a license, to partake in goat-eyeball tacos.
30. The fact that one-bedroom apartments cost an average minimum of a half-million dollars means we think nothing of spending $12 on lunch.
29. Restaurants are as common as single men and women. And equally diverse. And you never have to see either of them again after the initial awkward encounter.
28. The omnipresent opportunity to Gaga-ify yourself. And the chance that it will seem, just, normal.
27. Runnin’ Scared lives here! (And so does the Village Voice.)
26. Smart people are the norm, not the exception. (Which doesn’t mean they’re sane, but at least no one’s boring.)
25. Except in select ‘hoods like Park Slope and perhaps the Upper West Side, children are viewed as mysterious beings, rarely sighted and only occasionally understood, like pixies or magical small butlers. Until they scream, in which case, they are banished from the palace.
24. When you fly back into the city after a vacation or business trip, no matter how long you’ve lived here, you get that butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling.
23. Efficiency in a drugstore checkout line.
22. How easy it is to find doughnuts, pizza, Chinese food, or any other snack your drunken self desires at 4 a.m. Or to continue to drink. Responsibly!
21. Broadway. Museums. CULTCH-AH. Even if you never actually go to see anything (though you should, at least once).
20. Yelling “fuck” is just a mild obscenity.
19. There’s no shame in sticking your fingers in your ears like an anal weirdo when an ambulance goes by screeching.
18. Summer concerts at the Williamsburg Waterfront.
17. So many Missed Connections, so little time.
16. Other places have dog and cat people. We have ferret people.
15. The splendor of the Union Square Greenmarket.
14. A bagel with cream cheese and lox from Russ and Daughters.
13. There is an insane Korean day spa (Spa Castle) waiting for you in Flushing. And Russian and Turkish baths in the East Village.
12. One of our bars has 100-year-old urinals.
11. Complain about the MTA, but you can get anywhere in the city for just $2.25. Or $2.50 single ride, come 2011. Still pretty damn cheap.
10. Subway rage. Bike-lane rage. Walking rage. Random rage. These are our therapy. Although we all go to therapy, too. No judgments! We bitch, therefore we are.
9. Jaywalking is an art form.
8. The free Ikea ferry to Red Hook on weekends! Plus, Red Hook in general. Can you say“Lobster pound”?
7. Subway “prewalking,” in which you walk to the exact right spot on the platform to board the train car that will save you the most time upon exit, exists and has a name. Gotta respect.
6. You can be alone, but never feel lonely. And vice versa. But if you die and aren’t found until a year later, you won’t be the first.
5. We are, as a group, anti-fanny-pack as much as we are pro-gay-marriage. Hetero marriage, on the other hand, we can pretty much take or leave.
4. 35 is the new 26. Or is it 45? Whatever, age ain’t nuthin’ but a number, and as long as you’re younger than your IQ score, no harm, no foul.
3. Finding your “local” is that much better here.
2. There is absolutely no reason to ever drink and drive. Added bonus: Spontaneous, fascinating conversations with cab drivers.
1. If you can make it here, you really can make it anywhere. But why would you bother to go anywhere else?
(via villagevoice)
(via 52hearts)
Submitted By: Coffee&Chronic
I’m NOT saying this is real. I just find it interesting. One reminder: NONE of the stuff said below are in my own words, but instead in the words of an intern at Nickelodeon.
“I want to start off by saying if you want an answer at the end, prepare to be disappointed. There just isn’t one.”
“I was an intern at Nickelodeon Studios for a year in 2005 for my degree in animation. It wasn’t paid of course, most internships aren’t, but it did have some perks beyond education. To adults it might not seem like a big one, but most kids at the time would shit themselves over it. Since I worked directly with the editors and animators, I got to view the new episodes days before they aired.”
“I’ll get right to it without giving too many unnecessary details. They had very recently made the Spongebob movie and the entire staff was somewhat sapped of creativity so it took them longer to start up the season. But the delay lasted longer for more upsetting reasons. There was a problem with the series 4 premier that set everyone and everything back for several months.”
“Me and two other interns were in the editing room along with the lead animators and sound editors for the final cut. We received the copy that was supposed to be “Fear of a Krabby Patty” and gathered around the screen to watch. Now, given that it isn’t final yet animators often put up a mock title card, sort of an inside joke for us, with phony, often times lewd titles, such as “How sex doesn’t work” instead of “Rock-a-by-Bivalve” when spongebob and patrick adopt a sea scallop. Nothing particularly funny but work related chuckles. So when we saw the title card “Squidward’s Suicide” we didn’t think it more than a morbid joke. One of the interns did a small throat laugh at it. The happy-go-lucky music plays as is normal.”“The story began with Squidard practicing his clarinet, hitting a few sour notes like normal. We hear Spongebob laughing outside and Squidard stops, yelling at him to keep it down as he has a concert that night and needs to practice. Spongebob says okay and goes to see Sandy with with Patrick. The bubbles splash screen comes up and we see the ending of Squidward’s concert. This is when things began to seem off. While playing, a few frames repeat themselves, but the sound doesn’t (at this point sound is synced up with animation so yes that’s not common) but when he stops playing, the sound finishes as if the skip never happened. There is slight mummuring in the crowed before they begin to boo him. Not normal cartoon booing that is common in the show, but you could very clearly hear malace in it. Squidward’s in full frame and looks visibly afraid. The shot goes to the crowd, with Spongebob in center frame, and he too is booing, very much unlike him. That isn’t the oddest thing, though. What is odd is everyone had hyper realistic eyes. Very detailed. Clearly not shots of real people’s eyes, but something a bit more real than CGI. The pupils were red. Some of us looked at eachother, obviously confused, but since we weren’t the writers we didn’t question its appeal to children, yet.”
“The shot goes to Squidward sitting on the edge of his bed, looking very forlorn. The view out of his porthole window is of a night sky so it isn’t very long after the concert. The unsettling part is at this point there is no sound. Literally no sound. Not even the feedback from the speakers in the room. It’s as if the speakers were turned off, though their status showed them working perfectly. He just sat there, blinking, in this silence for about 30 seconds, then he started to sob softly. He put his hands (tentacles) over his eyes and cried quietly for a full minute more, all the while a sound in the background very slowly growing from nothing to barely audible. It sounded like a slight breeze through a forest.”
“The screen slowly begins to zoom in on his face. By slow I mean it’s only noticeable if you look at shots 10 seconds apart side by side. His sobbing gets louder, more full of hurt and anger. The screen then twitches a bit, as if it twists in on itself, for a split second then back to normal. The wind-through-the-trees sound gets slowly louder and more severe, as if a storm is brewing somewhere. The eerie part is this sound, and Squidward’s sobbing, sounded real, as if the sound wasn’t coming from the speakers but as if the speakers were holes the sound was coming through from the other side. As good as sound as the studio likes to have, they don’t purchase the equipment to be that good to produce sound of that quality.”“Below the sound of the wind and sobbing, very faint, something sounded like laughing. It came at odd intervals and never lasted more than a second so you had a hard time pinning it (we watched this show twice, so pardon me if things sound too specific but I’ve had time to think about them). After 30 seconds of this, the screen blurred and twitched violently and something flashed over the screen, as if a single frame was replaced. The lead animation editor paused and rewound frame by frame. What we saw was horrible. It was a still photo of a dead child. He couldn’t have been more than 6. The face was mangled and bloodied, one eye dangling over his upturned face, popped. He was naked down to his underwear, his stomach crudely cut open and his entrails laying beside him. He was laying on some pavement that was probably a road. The most upsetting part was that there was a shadow of the photographer. There was no crime tape, no evidence tags or markers, and the angle was completely off for a shot designed to be evidence. It would seem the photographer was the person responsible for the child’s death.”
“We were of course mortified, but pressed on, hoping that it was just a sick joke. The screen flipped back to Squidward, still sobbing, louder than before, and half body in frame. There was now what appeard to be blood running down his face from his eyes. The blood was also done in a hyper realistic style, looking as if you touched it you’d get blood on your fingers. The wind sounded now as if it were that of a gale blowing through the forest; there were even snapping sounds of branches. The laughing, a deep baritone, lasting at longer intervals and coming more frequently. After about 20 seconds, the screen again twisted and showed a single frame photo. The editor was reluctant to go back, we all were, but he knew he had to. This time the photo was that of what appeared to be a little girl, no older than the first child. She was laying on her stomach, her barrettes in a pool of blood next to her. Her left eye was too popped out and popped, naked except for underpants. Her entrails were piled on top of her above another crude cut along her back. Again the body was on the street and the photographer’s shadow was visible, very similar in size and shape to the first. I had to choke back vomit and one intern, the only female in the room, ran out.”
“The show resumed. About 5 seconds after this second photo played, Squidward went silent, as did all sound, like it was when this scene started. He put his tentacles down and his eyes were now done in hyper realism like the others were in the beginning of this episode. They were bleeding, bloodshot, and pulsating. He just stared at the screen, as if watching the viewer. After about 10 seconds, he started sobbing, this time not covering his eyes. The sound was piercing and loud, and most fear inducing of all is his sobbing was mixed with screams. Tears and blood were dripping down his face at a heavy rate. The wind sound came back, and so did the deep voiced laughing, and this time the still photo lasted for a good 5 frames. The animator was able to stop it on the 4th and backed up. This time the photo was of a boy, about the same age, but this time the scene was different. The entrails were just being pulled out from a stomach wound by a large hand, the right eye popped and dangling, blood trickling down it. The animator proceeded. It was hard to believe, but the next one was different but we couldn’t tell what. He went on to the next, same thing. He want back to the first and played them quicker and I lost it. I vomited on the floor, the animating and sound editors gasping at the screen. The 5 frames were not as if they were 5 different photos, they were played out as if they were frames from a video. We saw the hand slowly lift out the guts, we saw the kid’s eyes focus on it, we even saw two frames of the kid beginning to blink. The lead sound editor told us to stop, he had to call in the creator to see this. Mr. Hillenburg arrived within about 15 minutes. He was confused as to why he was called down there, so the editor just continued the episode.”
“Once the few frames were shown, all screaming, all sound again stopped. Squidward was just staring at the viewer, full frame of the face, for about 3 seconds. The shot quickly panned out and that deep voice said “DO IT” and we see in Squidward’s hands a shotgun. He immediately puts the gun in his mouth and pulls the trigger. Realistic blood and brain matter splatters the wall behind him, and his bed, and he flies back with the force. The last 5 seconds of this episode show his body on the bod, on his side, one eye dangling on what’s left of his head above the floor, staring blankly at it. Then the episode ends.”
“Mr Hillenburg is obviously angry at this. He demanded to know wht the hell was going on. Most people left the room at this point, so it was just a handful of us to watch it again. Viewing the episode twice only served to imprint the entirety of it in my mind and cause me horrible nightmares. I’m sorry I stayed.”“The only theory we could think of was the file was edited by someone in the chain from the drawing studio to here. The CTO was called in to analyze when it happened. The analysis of the file did show it was edited over by new material. However, the timestamp of it was a mere 24 seconds before we began viewing it. All equipment involved was examined for foreign software and hardware as well as glitches, as if the time stamp may have glitched and showed the wrong time, but everything checked out fine. We don’t know what happened and to this day nobody does. There was an investigation due to the nature of the photos, but nothing came of it. No child seen was identified and no clues were gathered from the data involved nor physical clues in the photos. I never believed in unexplainable phenomena before, but now that I have something happen and can’t prove anything about it beyond anecdotal evidence, I think twice about things.”
(Source: disturbingimages)
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epic:
When girls play ‘sexy dress up’, it’s not fair. Because they can make ANYTHING a sexy outfit. Look at this girl: making wooden teeth and lice go by the wayside in favor of this Marie Antoinette bonerthon. You can’t have your vagina and eat it too*!
I mean, what do guys have in the way of sexy costumes? Sexy Fireman? Sexy Fly fisherman? Sexy Groupon employee? Sexy Freelance blogger**? No. We just stand there with tuxedo briefs and a silver platter looking gormless while you swan around the party looking like a Chilean miner’s fever dream.
* Actually, technically you can, and if you can, shoot us a message with photographic evidence.
** Knit cap, hoodie, Starbucks reward card, skinny jeans from Target, and a face not unlike a hamster staring directly at the sun.
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Six-year-old Mehran Rafaat is like many girls her age. She likes to be the center of attention. She is often frustrated when things do not go her way. Like her three older sisters, she is eager to discover the world outside the family’s apartment in their middle-class neighborhood of Kabul.
But when their mother, Azita Rafaat, a member of Parliament, dresses the children for school in the morning, there is one important difference. Mehran’s sisters put on black dresses and head scarves, tied tightly over their ponytails. For Mehran, it’s green pants, a white shirt and a necktie, then a pat from her mother over her spiky, short black hair. After that, her daughter is out the door — as an Afghan boy.
Afghan families have many reasons for pretending their girls are boys, including economic need, social pressure to have sons, and in some cases, a superstition that doing so can lead to the birth of a real boy. Lacking a son, the parents decide to make one up, usually by cutting the hair of a daughter and dressing her in typical Afghan men’s clothing. In most cases, a return to womanhood takes place when the child enters puberty. The parents almost always make that decision.
I am just wondering what this does to the identity forming of these boy-girls.
oh my goodness.
Wow.
interesting.
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Yes. Those babies are lying on concrete.
Yes. That bottle is empty.
Yes. Those are mosquitoes swarming their little bodies.
Yes. This is the condition of Pakistan, at the moment.
A couple of weeks have gone by since the floods in Pakistan have flowed and the number of people effected by this are staggering & record breaking.
Over 20 MILLION PEOPLE.
That is MORE THAN THE COMBINED TOTAL of the 2004 Tsunami, the 2005 Kashmir earthquake, the 2010 Haiti earthquake, and the American Katrina disaster.
How many of you knew about this? It’s a shame at the extreme lack of coverage on this horrific disaster. Pakistan is getting MINIMAL help.
Ignorance never ends, a recent poll was taken in America on whether if they would donate or have donated to Pakistan or not. 67% DO NOT wish or want to help Pakistan. 67%.
And as for the donations that are being sent… 60% of aid needed now, has not been delivered. Who has them & why haven’t they reached the public?
I was born in Karachi, Pakistan. My city is located in the south region of Pakistan (Sindh province). I can not fathom the words….The amount of hurt I am feeling.
No one is helping.
I try to blog about it daily…only getting a few notes or so..I post a picture of myself and in come the notes and comments. What I’m trying to say is, Please…take note of this. These people are innocent and now they are homeless and sick. Children are dying quickly due to the lack of care. People have drowned, crops are ruined..animals are dead, & homes are gone. It is being speculated that my city will eventually drown since it’s already low. The floods haven’t hurt my region yet but they have affected my friends & families home and so many other innocent people.
This picture breaks my heart..I want you all to look at this picture. What do you see?
Do you see terrorists? Do you see future killers? Do you see another plot against America? Do you see that in those mosquitoes that can possibly and most likely have left diseases such as malaria? Do you see harm in that empty bottle?
Extremists are the ones to blame, not Muslims. Why should we be left hopeless? We didn’t do anything.
And as for the Qu’ran burning this weekend in Florida, I believe….
The thought of that night makes me cry. Do you all understand the severity and ignorance of that act? Why isn’t anyone stopping them? My religion, my faith didn’t hurt you. EXTREMISTS DID. They are NOT religious. My faith is NOT a cult.
I don’t know what to do. I honestly don’t know. I’ve never felt this helpless. No one is helping, no one cares. Fuck neither do my own best friends know much about this.
Just look at this picture and think about what you’ve just read.
Help. Please.
If you can…I’m not asking for a shitload of cash. But please, try to donate. Donating to UNICEF will send aid to children. Donate to the Red Cross & the UN Foundation. I trust the most in these three foundations, they’ve actually managed to send and successfully help the victims.
One-fifth of the country is under water; 20 million+ people are homeless. All I ask is for you to help a little and spread awareness.
(Source: ehmzee, via fuckyeahrandomstupidity)
Sky: adventure; the pursuit of life: Day 06-- Whatever Tickles Your Fancy
My Favorite Love Letter
So, if you haven’t noticed, I’m in love with words. Anything with wonderful writing. I’m also in love with the idea of love. And so, I found this by accident one day at Barnes and Noble where my friend works. I loved the book so much she got it for me for Christmas….
Israel Attacks Peace Activists, North Korea Attacks South Korea… The United States Pretends Nothing Is Happening
It has come to my attention that most of you are completely unfamiliar with international politics, and that’s okay. It’s hard to keep up sometimes - but that’s why I’m here. Because recently, things have gotten a little muddy overseas. That’s actually an understatement.
With Israel, it’s hard to really explain where to begin. In 1947, the State of Israel was established by the United Nations. In May of 1948, Israel declared independence, and it’s been a shit storm since then.
Why was Israel created? It’s hard to explain, but it involves “democratic interests” in the area. Basically, the United States, England and friends needed an ally in the Middle East after World War II - so they made one. Unfortunately, you can’t just create a country out of thin air without pissing off the people already living there.
On Monday morning, the Israeli military attacked a peaceful flotilla in international waters off the coast of Israel. Nine international activists were killed. So, why was a multi-ship flotilla of peacekeeper and humanitarian aid suppliers attacked?
Well, the Israel Defense Force (IDF) is saying the peacekeepers attacked them. (I know, I laughed too.) There is video to substantiate it. The peacekeepers did in fact attack members of the IDF. Why? Well, mostly because the IDF boarded the peaceful flotilla in international waters, armed with automatic weapons.
In this case, I’m going to side with the peacekeepers. Yes, they did injure nine IDF soldiers, but let’s think about what would really happen if you were on a boat in the middle of the ocean, and men with guns started boarding your ship without permission: You would defend yourself.
As soon as the peacekeepers began defending themselves (with pieces of metal), the IDF opened fire (with guns) - because they’re a military unit. They did what any well-trained and logistically prepared military does: Kill a lot of people, rapidly.
All of this comes back to the question, “Why was there an international flotilla off the coast of Israel, on a peacekeeping mission?” Because Israel is committing some abhorrent acts. Most people aren’t familiar with this, but Israel is a bully. They’ve got a big brother with a bad attitude (The United States), and feel like they can get away with anything.
The flotilla that was attacked carried humanitarian aid. Clean water. Medical supplies. Wheelchairs. Food. Things that people need to survive. Why? Because Israel has choked off Palestine from the world. They force the people of Palestine to live in subhuman conditions. No electricity, no water, no sewage, no medical care, etc. It’s a silent war. And when the people of (former) Palestine attempt to get human treatment, Israel attacks the Palestinian people with all the fire and fury that their subsidized military can muster.
Behind all of it is The United States. We give them all their F-16’s. We train their special forces. We are their military connection. The United States is directly involved in the oppression of the Palestinian people. It saddens me that the country that I love so much serves to silently oppress so many. And news stories here don’t really tell the truth about what is going on in Israel. Sure, you’ll hear news stories like, “Palestinian Rebels Attack Israeli Compound”… but you never ask why. Nine times our of ten, they probably attacked a compound that held medical supplies. They’re forced into violence to get what they need.
In this situation, The United States should be taking a stand, and we haven’t. We are Israel’s big brother, and the international community knows it. President Obama should be on the phone with Prime Minster Netanyahu right now saying, “You’ve fucked up. Now you need to fix this.”
Personally, I’d prefer it if the United States cut all ties with Israel. Especially right now. But we haven’t done anything. In fact, the “silent treatment” just makes us look like assholes. I don’t have a solution here. I mean, I have a solution, but it involves a time machine. I’d go back to 1947 and stop Israel from ever being created. Israel will be a clusterfuck forever.
I completely understand why Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad makes so many threats against Israel. They deserve it. Israel is just a punk little brother to us. We should be the ones kicking their ass. If your little brother steps out of line, it’s YOUR responsibility to kick his ass into line.
Moving on then… North Korea vs. South Korea - Round 2!
What’s going on in the ocean over in Asia? Well, long story short: A North Korean submarine sank a South Korean ship. It killed 46 sailors.
North Korea is denying it, South Korea is saying it was North Korea, the United States is saying nothing, and China is saying they’ll tell you what they think about it after you’ve decided. (I’d like to note that there is a small contingent of people stating a U.S. rising mine sank the South Korean ship. I looked into these claims, and found them the be completely lacking in facts. The people propagating these fallacies are doing so for their own motives.)
How delicate is this situation? Super fucking delicate. North Korea can’t touch the United States, but it can touch Japan and South Korea. North Korea has also demonstrated limited nuclear capability. No one really knows how developed their nuclear program is, but their last test in 2006 seemed to be a dud. (Or perhaps intentionally small?)
North Korea is dangerous because it’s a desperate nation. I could probably list North Korea’s problems for hours, but it all comes down to this: Crazy dictators and pure communism are not the recipe for success.
I believe the situation in Israel will be resolved before the situation in North Korea. In fact, I’m fairly certain we’ll be at war with North Korea within six months. South Korea has asked for analysis of it’s investigation by the international community. The UN will likely approve it, at which point North Korea will be completely fucked.
North Korea will be cut off from everyone, including China. While China is known historically for backing North Korea, recently it appears they have seen the light. Secretary of State Clinton has proven this over the past year. After the UN cuts off North Korea’s food, fuel and coal supply from China, it is only a matter of time before something gives.
There are two options:
1. North Korea will come to the table diplomatically and say, “You know what, you were right. We were being total assholes.” (Highly unlikely.)
2. North Korea will get angry and increasingly desperate, at which point an offensive is launched into South Korea. (Much more likely.)
The United States can obliterate North Korea. No one questions it. The question is, “How much can you obliterate North Korea without drawing in China?” China is North Korea’s military supplier, much in the same way The United States supplies Israel. You can beat on China’s little brother, but not much before China steps in. That’s why this is dangerous.
Here’s the alarming problem: The United States isn’t doing anything about either problem. We’re sitting around doing nothing. I was so used to my government playing “Globocop” that I get a little alarmed when we’re not causing bullshit. We spend $650 Billion a year on our military. That’s $610 Billion more than we spend on education, and $560 Billion more than we spend on transportation. Can we please use our military now, please? Now that innocent people are being attacked and being killed by military forces, can we defend them?
The people attacked in Israel were European doctors (and one Nobel Peace Prize Winner). The people attacked in South Korea were sailors - military yes, but still not bothering anyone.
If our government isn’t going to do the right thing, the least they can do is tell the truth: Sorry, we can’t help. We only use our military when we need access to oil.
World War III is about to pop off, and we’re doing… nothing. I never thought I’d see the day…
Fuck Yeah Love!: less than three <3
Many people use the phrase “less than three” when talking about people they care about. Less Than Three translates to a heart, sometimes automatically (like on facebook) or you have to simply tilt your head sideways to see it.
But if you think about it, there is so much more to it. Think…
Are you afraid of anything?
I’m afraid of bad fashion sense and Alzheimer’s. Other than that, FUCK NO.